I don’t know when I first met Warren. My best guess is we probably both showed up to skate with Tal. I remember one time– the grass had just reached that supple green character, and you know spring has finally arrived; we pushed around the jagged and cracked drive circling Foss Hill. With one hesitant push, another came, and then another. Everyone who showed up to skate back then doesn’t anymore. I’m not surprised. But he was a complete beginner, and he stuck with it. That’s not easy, because I’ve had that feeling before; surrounded by people more skilled and accomplished than you, engaged in something niche, you think, “What the hell am I doing here?” But nonetheless, his individual drive and spirt, his desire to learn and get better shone through. And this was the ground for much of our friendship.

Warren is an international student from China. We first met skateboarding. Meeting early on, it was a surprise to learn that he was not only willing to go through the arduous process of learning how to skate, but also that he was doing so as someone from China, where skateboarding is not popular and generally frowned upon. But maybe I was perceived in similar ways, the fact that I’m a white American learning Chinese, it’s certainly not the most common thing either. Nonetheless, this sort of cross-cultural interest and storytelling guided our friendship.

One night, towards the end of my junior year, Warren texted me if he could swing by the high rise to discuss the skate club for next year. We spoke briefly about what kinds of forms and deadlines to look out for. But then our conversation morphed into our own personal stories and interests. I described how I was interested in and studying Chinese philosophy like Daoism and Confucianism. He remarked how he grew up in Confucius’ hometown and how people there revered him. However, he thought that the emphasis on education and the grind to do well is detrimental to Chinese society in many respects. He explained how there was this tension in his school, to perform at an excellent rate, as opposed to his parents, who were more relaxed and willing he look into his own interests. As such, he decided to go abroad and study at Wesleyan. I was sparked by this comment, because I felt similarly. Going to an elite private high school in Cambridge, the pressure and competition was real. I thought that I tried to make the most of this dichotomy, others’ expectations vs. my own individualism by going to a place like Wesleyan. I realized how we were drawn to skateboarding as a space for our individual expression in the face of circumstances we couldn’t always control. This conversation was really enlightening, to hear a similar experience from someone in a different cultural context. I think our friendship represents a positive kind of engagement I want to lead into the future. Even though we won’t all have the same interests, and will come from distinct cultural environments, what we share is powerful in opening a discourse that can bond worlds and understandings.